andrea crespo

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Joined for Life

Joined for Life is a monument to my past in which a space is made for the contemplation of faulty body-image and identity formation in a 21st century mediatic environment. This body of work draws together many of the loose threads from sis, expounding on the embodied subject position behind those works with clarity instead of masquerade (as in sis). During the time I was producing this work, I was heavily operating under the strongholds of gender dysphoria and obsessions I did very little to resist. Succinctly, this work represents an unnatural convergence of internalized body-image issues and externally directed obsessions toward the image of dicephalic conjoined twins seen on television at an early-age; an encounter that marked me by way of ecstatic enrapturement and empathic overload. In other words, the mechanisms of gender dysphoria and self-rejection were fluid enough to attach themselves into a form beyond that of the opposite sex, and fearfully into a "trans-conjoined" desire and identity. Parapagus, the animated film at the center of this body of work, meticulously narrates the development of this perverse identity from childhood and into adulthood, charting all the forces and misgivings that wove themselves into this subjectivity. Having experienced all this, I can only say: God works in mysterious ways. The silver-lining to this unusual story lies in how it eventually "broke" and liberated me from my transgender identity, opening my eyes to the apparent incommensurabilities inherent to trans narratives, of wanting to be what the Lord has not created one to be.